The hardest part of living here

So, today I got to go into school late! Woot woot! But, why did I get to go in late? Because I was helping my friend carry her bags to the bus terminal because she is leaving the country. Wah wahhh...
There are some days in Korea when I realllllly miss my friends and family back home. And I love my family and friends back home sooooooo much. But missing them is not the hardest part of living in Korea. You see, when we move here, we are missing those people from home, and so are the people around us (because they're in the same situation as us), so we find these friendships in the people around us. Sometimes they are people you wouldn't normally be friends with back home. Sometimes they're the kind of people that you think "how have we never known each other before?!??" because they're so wonderfully fit to be your friend. No matter who it is, we form these bonds with the people around us, and they help us get through all of the awkwardness of living in a new country, discovering the culture and the language, and creating fun memories in between. Unfortunately, there is a start and an end to everything. And for some, it's sooner than others. Unfortunately for me, most people's end is sooner than mine. So, I have to say goodbye, over and over again. This aspect of life is definitely the hardest part of living here. I am not good with goodbyes. I hate goodbyes. And even though I know I'm pretty good at staying in touch with people (so it's not goodbye forever), I know that I won't have that person around anymore. And knowing that they're not around from day to day makes it so hard to see them go. Now, I don't really want to go on talking about this, because the people in my office are starting to stare at me, sniffling and tearing up. :/ But, I thought I'd let you in on the secret...the hardest part about living in another country is having to say goodbye to all of the people who have made your experience there what it is. And on that, travel safely, my friend. Travel safely back to America, and Korea will miss you.

Cloudy with a chance of homesickness

Hello everyone who might happen to read this!

Today has been a rough day. I woke up this morning feeling like I'd been run over by a truck...now, this happens to me about once a semester. I start to run myself too hard, I start to get sick, and then one morning I wake up and feel like I can barely move. And after a day of recouperation and relaxation, I'm good to go again for another 6 months. I find it quite fascinating that my body does this...I'm sure it's perfectly logical, but yeah. Anyway, today I've been feeling quite homesick. Not like "Oh gosh, I want to go home right now!" but just a "Wow, I really miss everyone from home." I don't even really miss American life or America itself right now, just the people there. The problem with that is, I know if I left here, I'd have the same feelings about people here. Funny how that works. So, today has been a little tough, feeling like everything was reminding me of home, or feeling that whole 15 hour time difference thing, not being able to call the people I really wanted to talk to because it was the middle of the night there...luckily, today I went to the doctor (not for homesickness, but a sinus infection), and she prescribed some medicine for me. Once again, in favor of Korea's health care plans, I paid 7,400 won for a doctor's visit and a 4 day prescription for sinus stuff and allergy stuff...and 7,400 won these days is about $6.68. Love it.
So, this feeling of homesickness I think in part is because I'm trying to figure out what the heck I'm going to do next year. I've narrowed it down to a few options (a little less broad than last time). And actually, because of the way things have been going at my school recently, I just feel more and more everyday like I will not be staying in this kind of job in Korea...maybe some other kind of job, but not teaching English in a public middle school. I know, that narrows it down, right? :P

On a happier side of things, yesterday, I had a blast at my Korean church. I don't know if I've said this on here before or not, but I've started attending a Korean church on Sunday afternoons. I am still actively involved in my Internation English church, but I really wanted to get involved more with non-work associated Koreans, and church was a really great way to do that! So, I attend a cell group (like small group) there on Sunday afternoons and really love it. This Sunday was Korean Christian churches' Thanksgiving celebration, so there was a sort of festival going on when I got there this week. I somehow ended up winning a bunch of random prizes. They had little games around where you could win prizes like hot packs and candy. Then one person from the church came up and put these bracelet things on us which ensured us free food. Then, one of my Korean friends came up and was like "Go and dance? There?" and there had been several different things going on on the stage, so I thought he meant later, with a bunch of people. So I was like "Sure" and at that, he grabbed my arm and ran me up on stage with him and started dancing. So, I waved my arms around a few times and then just stood there and laughed. Then the MC guy asked me to introduce myself, so in Korean I said "My name is Tori, nice to meet you." Everyone started cheering and such, and somehow, from that, I won about 50 dollars in gift certificates! Haha...amazing. Here is a picture of my spoils from yesterday...


Anyway, I had a lot of fun yesterday and am constantly grateful for the amazing friends I have here!!! Oh, by the way, Shannon and I are going to look for a hedgehog for a pet soon...stay tuned for more on that!!

축 to the 제!

Ok, so the title of this post is 축 to the 제, or Chook to the Jay. The word for festival in Korean is Chook-jay, 축제, and a couple weeks ago, KNU had their school festival for which they hung up a bunch of signs. One of these signs said that on it....it's like saying "Fest to the val" which I personally thought was hilarious and slightly gangster. So, on Wednesday, my school had their festival, and I couldn't help but think "Chook to the jay." This was the first school festival I had experienced here. Last year, swine flu was a big issue in Korea around this time, so lots of things got cancelled at that time. My school's festival was one of them. So, I was pretty excited this year to experience it. It started off with an "OX Quiz" which is basically a massive true/false test. And when I say massive, I mean all 1300 students at my school were flooding to one side or another, trying to guess the right answer to the quiz. Funny funny. Then they split up into a bunch of games including water balloon toss, limbo, darts, basketball, soccer shoot and karaoke. I of course gravitated toward the karaoke machine. So many students were gathered around there waiting for someone to get up the nerve to sing. A couple students would trickle up little by little, but there was by no means a flood. One of my students said to me "Tori, you should sing." I think he thought at first that I'd be like "No, no, never!" So when I simply said "Ok, I'll sing," he was like "What? Really??" A little while later, I sang the song "Listen" by Beyonce, and the students f-r-e-a-k-e-d out. Out of nowhere, I was like a rockstar, having students crowding around me, students asking to take their picture with me, etc. It was quite the experience! Then later that day, we had festival performances in which the students competed with each other. Performances ranged from dance groups to boys dressed up like girls, from singing to drama. The performances were great! However, there were some of them that were a little too risqué for my taste! One of the boys in one of the dancing groups was lifting up his shirt and such to show off his stomach, and one of the girls in a dance group was dressed in leggings, short shorts, a letterman jacket and a tube top. These kids are in middle school!!! And their dance moves were less than innocent for the most part as well! Anyway, other than that, the festival was incredibly enjoyable. Oh, and the Special Ed. class did a drama/play of the book "You Are Special" by Max Lucado, my absolute favorite children's book. Needless to say, I was in tears watching these kids act out this book, and watching all of their classmates cheer for them.
All around, it was a great day at the school festival. And right now, I'm going to get back to lesson planning while trying hard not to fall asleep!

Random Thoughts with Tori

Now, I know what most of you are thinking...you're thinking "Shouldn't this be the title of every interaction with Tori?" But there is REALLY no rhyme or reason to the things I'll write today...just random things that I want to get out there!

**Last weekend I went with my Saturday co-teacher and her family to JeonJu. We went to a Korean folk village, ate some bibimbap, and had a good time! It's fun hanging out with just a Korean family by myself sometimes...
**I will never get used to the thought of squid as a snack. I just walked over to the table in our teacher's office, and right next to some crackers, choco pies and coffee was some squid...naturally...
**I was on the phone today with some loan ppl in America because my loan got moved from one company to another. I waited on hold for 56 minutes. I talked to the person for 3 minutes. God Bless America. :/
**I still have no idea what I'm going to do next year when my contract runs up. I have it narrowed down to 3 main ideas: stay in Korea, go back to America, or go somewhere else. Seriously though, pray for my direction for next year, because I don't know where I'm going to be!
** I am addicted to cheesy Korean dramas. I'm watching one now from a few years ago, and even though I'm 98% sure of what will happen, I still cling onto every episode with suspense.
**I am jealous of people who get Reese's peanut butter cups shipped to them...there, I said it.
**I am tired of feeling like I'm the inferior of everyone else in my school...just when I feel like they're starting to treat me as an equal, someone goes and overrules me on something or another just because it's their right as someone older than me. Even though I only knew/experienced the feeling for a year, I miss feeling like an equal with my co-workers, feeling like I actually had a say in things.
**I love every moment that I successfully communicate with a person in Korean. It's funny how things that would be so natural in "normal" life have become such successes (or failures as it may be) in this life.
**I realize that I couldn't live as a single woman in Korea forever...I'm enjoying this life, but know that it's not for me forever.
**I miss singing in a choral setting...I haven't now consistently for about 2 or 2 1/2 years...every time I hear a choir, I get misty eyed.
**I get excited when my school wants me to help with something like an English pop song contest...even though I know they only asked me because I am the Native English Speaker, I tend to convince myself that it's also because of my highly trained background in music. :P
** I enjoy seeing what adventures life leads me on with different people in my life...even though I don't always understand why things are the way they are, or why my timing wasn't clearly better than God's...I appreciate every moment that He gives me with my friends and family and co-workers, knowing that it's blessed.
**I am striving to try harder everyday to be more of a blessing to the people around me. Sometimes I use being a foreigner as my crutch to not be myself...to not be as loving and as kind as I normally am...to not give wholeheartedly, knowing that other people's feelings are at stake. I want to be more like myself here in Korea, language barrier or no language barrier.
**I need to stop complaining so much. No need to expand on that.
**I love all of my family and friends, and even though I don't talk to all of you super often, you're in my thoughts and prayers a lot and I care so so so much about you!!
**I need to go be productive at work now, since for 2 1/2 hours I have nothing to show but a picture for the title page of my PPT for next week.
Enjoy your week...and I hope you enjoyed my ramblings.

Discounts and Oreo Balls

So, today I was late leaving my house and I took a taxi to school...on the way, I saw this guy who was holding his hand against his window, trying to get it to roll up...I laughed and then remembered what it was like to have a ghetto car that you have to do ghetto things to sometimes.

Yesterday I made Oreo Balls for Bible Study because it is my friend Hal's birthday this week. They weren't quite all the way dry yet when I needed to leave, so I waited a little longer, put them in a container, and hopped in a taxi to get there. I had to walk for a little while before I found a taxi driving along. I waved him down, got in, told him where I was going, and sat back for the ride. Hands down, this guy was my favorite taxi driver EVER. He was so awesome, he was speaking to me in Korean, which I liked, but he didn't get frustrated with me if I didn't understand...he would just say it a different way or say it in English. He started off by asking me something I didn't understand, then asking me if I spoke Korean well. I told him I couldn't speak it well, and he told me I needed to learn. Haha. I told him I was studying, etc. So this entire conversation went on, talking about my job, where I work, if I'm married, why I'm not married, his family, sports....tons of stuff. Haha, one of the funniest things to me that he said was that his son was tall and handsome, and good at sports, but not very good at studying. Haha. I laughed, because I guess stereotypes are sometimes proven even here. Also, as we were going, he told me that his home was near where I was going, so it was actually helpful to him that I was going there. So, at the end of my taxi ride, he gave me a discount! Heck yeah! And I totally wouldn't have minded paying him, because he was awesome, but I will take a discount where I can get one!! So, I popped open the container of oreo balls and told him that they were an American dessert. So he tried one and said it was delicious. Another funny thing is that he had been telling me I was pretty throughout the taxi ride, but then when he turned the light on to take my money, he was like "Wow, you're really pretty. Really!" Haha. Anyway, needless to say, taxi rides are normally something of a chore for me, with taxi drivers who are a bit disappointed that a foreigner is riding in their taxi, not knowing what to say to you...and this one...this one was a winner!! :)

I think I'm an emotional blogger...

I mean, I guess that's kind of the point of blogging...to express things when you want to. I just envy those people who are so faithful about blogging all the time. And I'm sure my family envies those as well...haha. Oh well. Anyway, I just found that I normally want to blog when I'm feeling something that I just need to express to someone non-Korean. No offense Korean friends...

So, some of my students are getting ready for the school festival, where they'll be singing a pop song together. They asked for my help preparing, and they chose the song "Isn't she lovely" by Stevie Wonder, but they want to do a version similar to the Idea of North's version. The Idea of North is an A Cappella group that sings pop songs and such in a vocal jazz style. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to make this happen, because that's set up in an SATB status, whereas this is 5 girls singing together...lol. As I was looking for this A Cappella version of this song, I started listening to and watching all of these videos of a Korean group of students singing vocal jazz music together. It reallllllllly made me miss A: being a student...you know, back in the day, and B: singing. No, not singing at church. No, not singing at Noraebong....I mean singing singing. Singing classical music, vocal jazz, something like that...singing in a big choir. I don't know. Anyway, I have been feeling more of an ache for music lately, so I think I need to make more of an effort to make music an intentional part of my life. I don't know how that will take place, but I need to do it!

So, all of this rambling for absolutely no reason but to say that I miss singing. But it's true...and it's making me sad right now...yet I can't help but listen to more! It's like doing something else knowing that it'll probably hurt, but knowing that the hurt is worth the reward...

In other news, I'm losing even more of my English these days!!! The other day, someone asked me if my cell phone would work in America, and I said no. She said "not even on roam??" I said "No. Because of the kind of......umm, like the cell phone.....the service.....umm, that thing you choose to say how many minutes you can have, and that stuff. You know...a cell phone....uh.....UGH!!!!" I seriously couldn't think of the word "plan"...cell phone plan. I couldn't believe it. Hopefully I'm gaining Korean at as large of a rate as I am losing English!!!

Yogurt

So, I've been home in America visiting for about a week and a half now. It's been quite the experience, traveling all over this country! I started my journey on July 31st, flying from Seoul to Tokyo, Tokyo to Newark, and Newark to Pittsburgh. When I was in the airport in Newark, I saw this girl that looked like someone I went to college with. I decided "I've been in Korea too long"...knowing that I was just thinking that everyone looked like someone I knew, mostly because they were white. Turns out it was actually the person I knew from college! She was coming back from Thailand, and just happened to be flying into the same airport at the same time as me. Weird. Anyway, when I came into Pittsburgh, my luggage wasn't there yet. Luckily, I have a wonderful brother and sister-in-law that were waiting to take me to Chipotle. I was SO excited for that! And by the time we got back from Chipotle, my luggage was in from the next flight. Lovely! That night I stayed at Keesa's (my sister-in-law) family's house. The next day, I went to church with the Cook's, then had a lunch get together with the Palmer side of my family. It was great to see everyone, and luckily I wasn't that jetlagged, so I actually got to enjoy their company. Monday, I hung out with the Cook's, swam in the pool, and had lunch with my brother. Then mom came up and we had dinner at the Cook's. Then I went to my mom's house and got ready for the big trip.
On Tuesday, my mom and I started the trek to Kansas City, with a few stops in between. We had breakfast with the lovely Courtney M. Page, Starbucks at a random city in Indiana, and dinner with my wonderful friends in St. Louis. Then we hit the road to Kansas City. I won't even list out all of the appointments I had in Kansas City, because there were SO many people in such a little time that I met with! However, it was so good to see everyone, and I'm so glad I got to spend some quality time with people! On Sunday, I went to church at Nall, which was nice, until I thought about the fact that I wouldn't be there again the next week. :( Aw. Anyway, I got to sing on the worship team, so that was fun! Then after church, my mom and I headed for Michigan. Monday morning we had breakfast with the LeFeber family, which was great. It was nice to see everyone! Then we left around noon to go back to PA in order for me to fly out the next morning. Now I'm in Florida, chilling at my dad's house. I was SO lazy this morning! But I went shopping today which was fun, and it's been nice just relaxing some.

This morning when I got up, I decided to eat an english muffin and some yogurt. I was super excited about having real yogurt as opposed to the soupy yogurt that they have in Korea. Well, it turns out that my body doesn't like American yogurt anymore. My body decided within the hour to get rid of the yogurt inside of it, which was not pleasant. After that, I realized that my body is more Korean now than American, at least in its food tolerances. Fortunately, we ate Korean food tonight, and my body is definitely used to that. It's great. Anyway, tomorrow Elizabeth and I are going to SeaWorld which should be fun! I am going to do my best to enjoy the rest of my break here in America, knowing that it'll be back to the grind soon enough!